Where do we start with the Tesla Cybertruck?
Having been showcased a couple of weeks ago, it has quickly become one of the most polarising cars of all time. Their supposedly shatterproof window demonstration failed spectacularly when a weighted bullbearing smashed it up big time – much to the derision of basically every news outlet in the world.
Not to mention, there are large swaths of critics calling it one of the ugliest cars they’ve ever seen.
So why on Earth did I buy one?
Well, that’s where you have been clickbaited somewhat my good sir. To ‘buy’ one of these, it costs £100 – which is also refundable…
But fret not, there are other reasons at play, so read on.
What is the Tesla Cybertruck?
It is Tesla’s new baby and it’s completely unlike anything else I’ve ever seen before. There have been all sorts of comparisons, ranging from a badly rendered lego brick to the robot dogs from the Metalhead episode of Black Mirror…
You can find the full details of this absolute monstrosity of a vehicle here. Safe to say, it’s barmy. Specs include 0-60 in a proposed 2.9 seconds.
It almost defies the laws of the physics to make something that heavy go that quickly on land, but here we are.
In short – I need it.
Do you actually have the money?
Not quite yet. In fact, no, I’m nowhere near being able to afford the Cybertruck.
I doubt I could scrape together the £30k+ that’s needed for the base model, let alone the £60k+ that I’ll be needing for the top dog that I ‘ordered’.
It seems stupid to put my name down doesn’t it?
So why have you done this then?
In short? Motivation.
Does that sound like the most wannabe entrepreneur thing to say? Probably lol.
But sometimes, having a deadline can be the biggest motivator of all and having a little bit of pressure on you can make great things happen. Have you ever entered a crazy zen state of flow when you left your assignment until the last minute?
You sit there for hours on end doing some of the best work you’ve ever done, right?
Well think of that state, then prolong it for about 3 years. That’s what I’m trying to achieve by placing my poxy little £100 wager. It’s a small fee to pay for such a potentially massive motivator.
The way I see it, I will have a £60k bill land through my letter box in 3 years and I’ll be screwed if I haven’t made the big time by then. Obviously this isn’t the truth because you can just get a refund on your £100 and forget anything ever happened but that feeling of needing to succeed is refreshing.
And listen, I don’t want to become the next Zoella or anything – some of the niche bollocks I spout on this site will never go mainstream. But I have started my own business recently and having this added incentive might give me that extra 10% that makes the difference between it failing or becoming a roaring success.
At the time of writing, I started the blog 2 years ago. Since then, my life has completely done a Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Who the hell knows what another 3 years is going to bring?
Hopefully a lottery win, but failing that, this lovely big Cybertruck will do just nicely…
When does it come out?
Supposedly in 2021, with the tri-motor version (the top tier one) coming out in 2022. Knowing their track record of delays though, I’d say we’re probably looking at another year or two on top of that.
And that’s if it even comes out at all. It might be hard to justify a 5 tonne stainless steel battering ram to safety authorities so we shall see. If Tesla do manage to make this thing road legal AND bring it to production though, then you better believe I’ll be having one on my driveway.
All in all, I think we can conclude that I haven’t really bought a Tesla Cybertruck, much like the other 250,000 people that have dropped £100 to reserve a spot.
But I do intend to. And what better motivation to make it than a massive stainless steel mini-tank?
Mortgage? House deposit? No thank you! It’s all about this big electric man-child toy.