Here it is people, my 30 before 30 list. I’ve never really thought of doing one of these, but as I approach the halfway mark between 20 and 30 it has dawned on me that I’m getting older and soon, I won’t have all this time and energy to do loads of mad things.
So I’ve given myself the next 6 years to do as much of this list as possible.
I was thinking that 6 years isn’t that long, but then I looked back to 6 years ago and I was still a snot-nosed virgin who hadn’t even gone to university yet. So maybe 6 years is adequate time. I just need to do 5 things on this list each year.
1. Become a millionaire
Why not aim high ey?
If I continue saving and growing my business, why can’t I reach the dizzying heights of being absolutely minted?
We shall see.
2. Learn a language
I have tried and tried to learn a language and every time I seem to fail.
Or at least fail to stick with it.
I actually got pretty handy at French for my trip to Metz a while back, but I have virtually forgotten everything except for “putain de merde“.
So with that in mind, I’d quite like to get proficient in a language. Spanish sounds nice so I might go for that.
Me gusta!!!! Or something like that…
3. Have my own house
This is the ultimate in boring life aspirations, but it’s always nice to have somewhere to call your own without lining someone else’s pockets.
Ideally, I would love to buy a plot of land and build a shipping container home myself but I very much doubt that will ever happen unfortunately.
Maybe a plush little beige new build will do.
4. Have apartments in 3 different cities
Liverpool, London, Ibiza.
That’s the goal baby.
If I’m a millionaire then this one should slot right into place.
5. Go to Glastonbury
Sitting in a field injecting heroin whilst listening to music with smelly strangers.
WHAT’S NOT TO LOVE?
6. Live abroad
I’ve lived in England and Wales, so kinda done this one on a micro level, but I’m talking fully-fledged laptop lifestyle vibes in some dingy little slav squat bedsit.
This is a must-do.
7. Live in London
Just want to live everywhere don’t I?
Every time I visit London I fall in love with it even more and would jump at the chance to spend even just a few months living in the capital.
8. Eat at a Michelin star restaurant
I love to eat.
Don’t we all?
But I’ve never really been ‘fine dining’ before.
Never have I been called Sir by the waiter. Never have I eaten lobster on a fancy pants dish with a 97 year old Italian man playing classical piano in the background.
THAT is what I want.
9. Drive a supercar
Even if it’s just at a track day, my dream is to drive as fast as humanly possible in anything remotely resembling a supercar.
Ferrari, Lamborghini, Toyota Yaris – if it’s fast and/or sexy, I want to drive it.
10. Get a season ticket for Liverpool FC
The waiting list isn’t even open because there’s that many people on it, so this may not even be possible.
But I’m still going to try.
11. Go to the airport with a backpack and fly to a random place
Maybe once Coronavirus has left us…
12. Buy a completely bespoke suit
Everything nowadays is off-the-shelf.
I remember my grandparents telling me about how back in the day, when a man got a suit, it was always made completely from scratch. Multiple measurement sessions, lots of bespoke cloth and a finished product unlike anything you could buy from the store.
Something like that nowadays will cost an arm and a leg, but I still want it.
And I’d ensure I got my wear out of it. Even if I had to wear it to the gym or to bed, I would wear that suit until the arse fell out of it.
13. Invest in an original artwork
None of that replica nonsense.
I want the real McCoy.
Not that it makes any difference but it’s just a lot cooler having the original piece isn’t it?
Is it? I don’t know. But I want it.
14. Give blood
Because it always feel good to give.
I’m sure my blood will cure all sorts of ailments, being the walking deity that I am.
So I may as well get this one done sooner rather than later and start curing the masses.
15. Go clay pigeon shooting
Charles I’ve got another one! Huzzah gents!!
To be a posh toff for just one day is all I’m asking.
No killing of wild game though – I’m not a tory pedophile.
16. Have a night in the Casino
Oh to act rich and throw it all on red.
I can dress up in that bespoke suit and use my newly acquired millions…
Anus shattering and trouser staining fun for the whole family.
I would absolutely love to do a skydive if I can muster the courage over the next 6 years.
18. Visit 25 cities
Not quite sure what I’m on at the moment, but providing we can travel freely soon, I hope to have this done relatively soon.
19. Invest in my own barrel of whiskey
This sounds too good to be true, but whiskey investment has seen the biggest yield in terms of portfolio growth of any sector.
I’d need a lot more disposable income to warrant such an investment but hopefully I can get my name on a barrel soon.
Although I will be careful, it can be quite a whiskey investment. Wahey! Do you get it? Because whiskey sounds like risk- oh forget it.
20. Go glamping
A ponce’s version of slumming it – glamping looks like an absolute banging time, so I’m gonna be booking a little trip to a pod v soon.
21. Open my own gym
I’ve had this dream since I was about 16 and started going to the gym.
In fact, I did a full project on it for my business A-level lol.
Maybe one day before I reach the big three-oh, I’ll make it a reality.
22. Have afternoon tea in The Ritz
Ideally, I want to do this asap.
If you managed to watch Inside the Ritz Hotel, then you’ll know why.
23. Fly business class
It would be great to feel like I wasn’t a peasant – even just for one little trip.
Weirdly, I’ve never volunteered for anything. Ever.
Some may say ‘entitled little boy’ and I would be inclined to agree.
Hopefully I can get this ticked off and turn it into a more long term habit.
25. Go to a comedy club
I’ve been to a comedy night to support a mate of my dad’s once, but that was only a really small event.
I want a proper night at the comedy night with the works. I’m talking a fat bowl of nachos, loads of pints and a few heckles included.
26. Get a tattoo
Right across my forehead saying ‘Gangsta’.
Or you know, something similar…
Go out to the desert and blow thousands. It sounds unbeatable to me.
28. Learn self-defence
I learnt mixed martial arts for a few months but moved away and didn’t pick it back up so for now, I’m a big floppy mess who couldn’t throw a punch to save his life.
It would be nice to pick it back up and feel like I could knock your nan out if she served me a lukewarm cuppa.
29. Create my own piece of art
This could be in tandem with #13 in that this would technically be an original piece of art.
Anyway, I used to love art. As a kid I would sit for hours to draw, paint and do all sorts of artistic nonsense.
Then I got it beaten out of me by the boring school schedule of maths and english.
So it would be great to get back into it and become an acclaimed artist.
Being acclaimed by yourself counts doesn’t it?
30. Tough Mudder
I’ve been saying I’d do this for years and years. In fact, I’ve been saying it for almost a decade.
Bloody pathetic wimp…
Anyway, once it’s back up and running post-rona I’m making this one a priority.
Here’s a few things that you might be wondering why they’re not in the list. Well that’s because I’ve done them lol. If you want to do your own 30 before 30 list though, these might help get those lightbulbs lit up.
- Travel solo (see the write-up here)
- Go to New York
- Start my own business
- Eat at a restaurant alone
- Learn to drive
- Climb a mountain
- Become an organ donor
- Publish a book
- Learn to swim
- Ride a rollercoaster
- Become an extraordinarily handsome human being, the likes of which the world will never see again…
So that’s my 30 before 30. How many do you think I can do? Have you been inspired to draft one up yourself? So many god damn questions!!!!!
Anyway, check back in 6 years and we’ll see how I did. Maybe you should jump on it with me.
Oh, and follow me on Instagram of course.