What Does a High-Value Man Want in a Woman
Dating is never straightforward, especially when the term “value” comes into the picture. I was recently asked by one of my friends, “what does a high-value man want in a woman” - she knew I wrote this blog (which is, of course, filled with high-value men 😉), so I thought I’d speak to some of my friends and readers, to create the go-to guide on the traits of high-value men and how to attract one.
Note: This article is not a checklist of traits you need to have in your personality. It is simply a guideline on becoming better at attracting high-value men. It would be best if you didn’t try to change who you are as a person.
To get a relationship, you should be yourself, not anyone else. The following information will give you some pointers about things that high-value men are generally attracted to.
This blog was contributed by Rough Water Media.
Introduction: What is a High-Value Man? The Traits of a High-Value Man
So what is a high-value man? A high-value man is a man who is authentic, emotionally intelligent and has a purpose with every single thing he does - whether that be in his relationships, career or fitness.
Below I have added six traits of a high-value man - if you disagree with any of my points or would like to add any, feel free to contact me or follow me, and we can disagree via message.
#1 Looks After Himself
No, he won’t be the only one shining among a group of other men and blinding you with his 10/10 smile. So put: if he cares about himself, he knows how to take care of others.
He understands the importance of taking care of your body and mind. One of a high-value man’s traits is their ability to avoid addictive substances, like drugs or alcohol, and a lack of obsessive behaviour like over-eating. On top of this, he probably works out, looks after his mental health, invests in himself and has a routine he follows.
#2 Assertiveness
An attractive trait of a high-value man is his assertiveness. High-value men know what they want and how to get it. He won’t accept anything less than what he deserves. He is thoughtful and intentional, especially when it comes to relationships.
Although a high-value man may not ask a woman what she brings to the table, he is most likely taking notes on her presentation of herself, her manners and her behaviour.
For example, I’m never going to be quizzing a girl on her values, but if she is rude or doesn’t know her worth, that isn’t for me, unfortunately.
#3 Self-Awareness
It’s not uncommon to see somebody jumping into a task they have no knowledge of or understanding of the job. As a result, they might struggle to finish it or not do a good job. High-value men don’t do this, as they know what they’re capable of and what they’re not. He is not shy about admitting if he doesn’t know something and is always eager to learn.
Quality guys and high-quality men tend to be quite humble, based on the people I have spoken to. While they may have strong business personalities (like I get across here quite often), when they’re at home and with a woman, they will be level headed - which takes us onto the 4th trait of a high-value man.
#4 Doesn’t Comfort to “Manliness” Standards
I don’t particularly like the term, but there is a level of “toxic masculinity” in some men - some feel a constant need to be the biggest lad in the room and will make a dick out of themselves to get their friends to crack up.
A high-value man doesn’t conform to this - they realise that having more “feminine” emotions is also very important, and they don’t need a dick-swinging contest to know their self worth compared to other men. They are in touch both emotionally and spiritually and aren’t afraid to show it.
This is one of the critical traits of masculine men and makes it worth asking the question, “what does a high-value man want from a woman” - these men can be hard to come by and have levels to their game of life.
#5 Growth is the Game
Life is a marathon, not a sprint. High-value men don’t care where they are now - yes, they may already have a level of success, but they aren’t constantly comparing themselves to others to determine whether they’re winning. Instead, their growth mindset keeps them focused on the bigger picture as they build an empire, not short term wins as they flash the cash on Instagram.
A high-value man may be building multiple businesses or a strong career - something that allows them to be stable and create something in the long term - I have found that high-value men are aware of compounding; they know that they need to improve 1% every day.
When we talk about growth, it’s not just about financial gain - high-value men may be experimenting with their mental or physical performance through the benefits of saunas. They may also be looking to become financially free or a digital nomad.
#6 He doesn’t cry over spilt milk
Look, shit happens, and you have to deal with it sometimes; that’s life, unfortunately! To do this, high-value men have a level of emotional intelligence that allows them to deal with life’s problems.
Sure, grief can impact everyone, and it’s necessary and understandable to mourn a loss. Still, someone who’s emotionally mature will not let lose too much of their joy in life.
High-value men will often be the type to always look towards the next challenge. They can start moving forward quite soon after a setback because they are always looking to improve and keep pushing themselves towards bigger and better achievements in their lives.
High-value Men Need High-value Women
I believe this one-liner could sum up this blog at a fundamental level: “high-value men need high-value women”. I say this because most high-value men are not as interested in dating a woman who does not value herself or simply a woman who is using them for her own selfish needs.
Look at it the opposite way. Would a high-value woman steep to a man who doesn’t respect himself, doesn’t treat her right and doesn’t have a long term vision for how he wants his life to be? Maybe in the short term, but in the long term, a high-value man who can give her what she wants will always come out on top.
A Guide on How to Attract a High-value Man
This guide is for women who want to find a high-value man and start a relationship. I will give a list of three things that you can do to attract and keep them:
Be a team player: High-value men aren’t superheroes - they will have lows as big as their highs. They will need someone to be there for them, just as they will want to be there for you. Team players look to be there for their team and grow to something bigger - high-value men will find this very attractive, as opposed to a damsel in distress who may just be looking for attention.
Be confident and know what you want: Don’t be hard on yourself - you don’t need to keep track of “growth and profits” with pie charts. You need a general idea of what you want and how to get there. Men generally notice confidence and charisma when they meet a woman, which are qualities that help them know she is worth their time.
Be able to spend time on your own: High-value men may often be off doing their own thing, whether working on their own business, career or personal life. They will need a woman who can easily spend time on her own, building her empire. Needy women will drain his energy and take away from his other priorities, which is a big no for high-value men.
Contrary to what some people may say, high-value men do not want a woman who will be there for them at all times at his beck and call - they want a woman with a lot going on and dreams she wants to hit for herself outside of her relationship.
Taken while I was working on this blog!
Frequently Asked Questions
What makes a man high-value?
A high-value man doesn’t chase things— he focuses on becoming the type of man who deserves those things. That goes for partners, career opportunities and everything else in between - he will constantly be looking for self-improvement.
What does a high-value man look like?
A high-value man doesn’t have to look a certain way. From my experience, a high-value man can be pretty inconspicuous but can also be what you would classify as a ‘stereotypical’ high-value man, i.e., tall, dark, and handsome. You’d be surprised on the variation in what women find attractive in men.
How do men stay high-value?
High-value men stay high-value by maintaining their core values and mastering the moment. As a result, they don’t get distracted by short-term gains; they constantly look at the bigger, more positive picture and move towards their long-term goals.
What is the most attractive quality in a man?
Women are more attracted to men who have a pleasant, approachable, average look and a strong sense of humor when looking for a long-term relationship. Of course, there will always be a bias towards more “masculine” men with symmetrical features, a strong jawline and great hair, but this doesn’t always tick the attractive box for women who are looking for a high quality man or good guys.
How to date a high-value man?
Ultimately, the best way to date anyone is by just being yourself. For dating high-value men, you may need to be confident, a team player and able to spend time by yourself outside of your dating life.
Conclusion on High-value Men
I’m just a guy with an opinion, as are the people I spoke to in the lead up to this blog. However, as with any dating advice, particularly “how to get a man/woman” articles, no one will be able to give you the secret sauce on how to get the person you want.
If you’d like some more relationship advice from a couple’s point of view, I’d recommend getting in touch with the A Couple Things To Do Team - they’ve shared some golden tips recently, including what to talk about on a first date with someone you already know (here).
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