What is and How to Deal With Imposter Syndrome at Work
Imposter syndrome can be a real bugger. A lot of us suffer terribly with it but we don’t actually realise what it is so we get worked up and quit without really knowing why. This blog is going to tell you what is imposter syndrome and how to deal with imposter syndrome at work.
So what is Imposter Syndrome, why do we all seem to suffer from it at some point and what can we do to combat this widespread, insidious dream crusher?
All shall be revealed in the next 1,000 or so words.
WHAT IS IMPOSTER SYNDROME?
In its simplest terms, imposter syndrome is feeling like you don’t deserve to hold the position you do, or that you’re simply not good enough at something, despite being more than adept at the task. It can impact your mental health, make you feel like a fraud and leave you feeling like an imposter.
So many people have suffered from Imposter syndrome over the years, including myself very recently - despite it going against my personality traits.
After the two year anniversary of the blog, I found myself in a bit of a rut.
Despite consistently posting once a week for 104 weeks on the bounce, I felt like my blog simply wasn’t good enough, that people didn’t care what I was writing about and that truth be told, I was just a big stinkin’ failure.
I started looking on job sites to see if there was any work going and after finding nothing I fancied, I reluctantly persisted with the writing.
I didn’t really understand at the time, but I was suffering from imposter syndrome.
I felt like I wasn’t good enough, and this permeated through my effort levels. I wasn’t pitching to brands as much, I wasn’t writing content regularly enough and I just wasn’t giving it the beans I knew I should have been.
One morning, after sitting myself down and basically telling myself that I was being stupid, I fired off about 200 emails to companies, I sent hundreds more freelance copywriting pitches to potential clients and within 2 weeks, I had turned it all back around.
Imposter syndrome almost derailed a career that I love and I can put good money on the fact that it has claimed a lot more budding careers of people who weren’t as fortunate as me.
If someone like Michelle Obama suffers from it, we can rest assured that it isn’t just a mental issue of peasant rat-race dwellers like us – so don’t be disheartened – that’s my main message.
But, I don’t like people who wallow either, so although we can admit that Imposter Syndrome is a cruel mistress, if you’re not willing to put the work in that is required to flourish again, then quit yo jibba jabba foo’.
However – if you are ready to put that fire back in your belly, then read on… do you feel like an impostor or are you suffering from impostor syndrome?
WHY DO WE SUFFER FROM IT?
It’s not exactly known why we suffer from crippling self-doubt and imposter syndrome but there are a few theories flying about.
For some reason, it seems that the more successful we become, the more likely we are to suffer from imposter syndrome. This is why we see imposter syndrome in the workplace and many professionals are experiencing imposter syndrome. This is why many high achievers and high achieving women get imposter syndrome.
You work harder and harder to justify yourself to yourself, which becomes a never-ending cycle of pushing and pushing to try and prove to yourself that you are worthy, even if you were already to begin with.
HOW TO QUIETEN THE SELF-DOUBT
Overcoming imposter syndrome can be hard. There are a few ways that I have learned over the past few months that have really helped me to quell the inner doubt in my mind and that has allowed me to push on to start to really make a career out of what I do best – writing.
I’m probably not even a very good writer truth be told, but because I have almost bulletproof confidence, people believe in me – and so I believe in myself.
Here are the tips that can help you do the same.
DO YOUR RESEARCH
Once I realised that what I was suffering from was a serious bout of Imposter Syndrome, I did what anyone would do…looked for celebrities who shared my flaws. You are not alone in the impostor phenomenon.
This sounds a little bit daft I know but it’s a great way to realise that what you’re going through isn’t just happening to you and that it isn’t an ailment the elite are immune to.
Once you realise that it is actually quite a common occurrence, you will come to realise that it isn’t that big of a deal if you don’t let it become one.
It was comforting to realise I wasn’t insane for thinking this and that actually, my thoughts were common – but also that they were symptomatic of Imposter Syndrome and not actually of the facts, because the facts were – I was doing well! I just didn’t (want to) see it.
The same is more than likely happening to you if you’re reading this article, so just know that you are more than good enough and that you shouldn’t quit your mission just because you have a bad few days, weeks, months or even years.
Things have a habit of working themselves out for those that believe in it.
AFFIRMATIONS
I have actually written about affirmations before at length.
I believe them to be a huge help for those that need to give themselves a mental boost.
Having used them for about 3 years now, I can safely say that they have helped me in whatever I have utilised them for.
As cringe as it sounds, I used to have an affirmation a couple of years ago when I first started out that went as follows;
“I am an elite-level writer and successful businessman”.
At the time? An absolute load of bollocks – I was neither.
But now?
Still bollocks!
However, I am getting much closer. I write for a living and work for myself, two things that weren’t true at the time of affirming them but that became true after hard work, belief and consistency.
Using affirmations can remind you of your mission every day and keep you on track to become who you want to be.
My imposter syndrome did actually come at a point where I hadn’t done affirmations for a few months actually…maybe I should start doing them again…
MEDITATION
I harp on about the benefits of mediation like I was on commission from Buddha himself, but it really is a life-changing habit. Many people use meditation to get over the imposter phenomenon.
If you can find the time to be still for 10 minutes per day and meditate properly, you will literally become a different person in a drastically short period of time.
I’ve always been a very calm bloke (with the exception of stress from time to time) but meditation just blew everything away.
It made me feel so composed and helped me to see the bigger picture. When something bad happens in our lives, we always tend to focus in on the micro, not the macro.
Your dinner tastes like uncooked pigs nipples, so what? You’ll have another dinner tomorrow. Hell, you’ll probably have another dinner later that night – get over it.
That’s obviously just a stupid example but hopefully it’s painted a picture of the sort of laissez faire attitude we need to employ if we are to beat Imposter Syndrome.
Meditation allows us to hone this mindset. It allows us to develop a thicker skin, more resolve and much better willpower to push on through the doubt and get to the other side, where we will find more work, more joy and more good vibes – true story.
PRACTICE
Just keep practicing.
I know it’s a simple instruction but I am a very simple man. Simple is what works best. It has done for a million years before us and will do for a million years after.
The chances are – you’re really good at what you do, but maybe you’re disheartened by a lack of progress – that was my main issue.
This is why keeping a log of how far you’ve come is exceptionally important to shake you out of a rut.
Whatever it is that you do, keep going, keep improving and KEEP A LOG.
The gym? Take pictures once every two weeks along with measurements, a log of amount of weight lifted per session, etc.
If you’re a social media star, look how far your pictures have come, how many followers you’ve gained, etc.
If you’re a shelf stacker, look how many more shelves you stacked this week than last.
It can be applied to anyone, anywhere, anytime. As long as you’ve got some form of log to look back on after 6 months to see how much you have improved, you’re on the right track.
When I was trying to get out of my Imposter Syndrome rut, I took a look back through my old Instagram posts and stories and good lord, were they bad.
Some of the crap I’d uploaded was off-the-scale bad and yet I thought of myself as not having changed, having basically been plateaued the entire time, when in fact, my content had improved a hundred fold and I had made so many more new friends online – it was a huge eye opener.
And that was all because I had a record of how far I had come.
As the old saying by C. S. Lewis goes;
“Isn’t it funny how day by day, nothing changes but when you look back everything is different?”.
Imposter syndrome is a curse but coming out the other side is a big fat blessing and one that can really give us the inner-confidence to push on and smash the back doors off whatever it is we have chosen to do with our lives.
Be sure to follow me on socials to keep up with the daily goings on of The Man Blueprint. You can also sign up for my inner circle using the newsletter form above. Just drop your email in there and it’s job done.
Completely free and completely brilliant. Whilst you’re here, have a little browse of some other article you might like below too. You won’t regret it.
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How To Build Your Confidence As A Man - The Four Pillars
We live in a society where anxiety is rising and rising and an alarming rate. This can be attributed to so many different things such as social media, poor diet, sedentary lifestyles, lack of social interaction - the list goes on. This is an epidemic and this is the cure - sort of.
We live in a society where anxiety and lack of confidence is rising and rising at an alarming rate. This can be attributed to so many different things such as social media, poor diet, sedentary lifestyles, lack of social interaction – the list goes on. This blog is going to tell you how to build your confidence as a man.
Some of these things can’t really be helped, most of us have to sit behind a desk for 8 hours a day, we only have access to ready meals and we don’t really get a chance to go out because of other commitments, etc.
With this in mind, I have developed what I believe to be the 4 pillars of building bulletproof confidence that will aid you in your quest to become the best man you possibly can.
The reason I have picked these is that they are easy to implement for literally anyone. Each pillar will take up a tiny part of your day and will almost certainly add to your quality of life if you practice them consistently.
ABUNDANCE - Build Self Confidence As A Man
First off, what is abundance and how can this help you feel more confident? In this instance, I’m talking about the abundance mindset.
In short, this way of thinking is aimed at completely reshaping the way you think about things. It will help you to frame situations in a positive manner and allow you to get out of the victim mentality that so many of us have fallen prey to in modern society.
Abundance will give you the confidence to climb a multitude of large cogs
The easiest way to practice abundance is to write down 3 things that you felt went well during your day before you go to sleep. This makes you focus on what is actually going well in your life and stops you from leaning your cognitive bias toward insignificant negatives of the day.
This is part of the reason I have stopped journaling. Writing down all your stresses is supposed to be a cleansing experience but in reality, it just made me focus on the negatives. Use this little trick to become a much more abundant and confident fella.
MEDITATION
Meditation is one of the best stress relievers there is. Doing some meditation every day will bring your cortisol levels down massively and help you achieve your desired outcome. Decreased cortisol means increased testosterone – which means you’ll be biologically and psychologically more dominant. When you’re feeling so unstressed, it’s hard not to have superior confidence.
Meditation also teaches you to breathe deeply and from the stomach – not the chest, like most of us tend to do. This focus on breath will help you to stay calm in stressful situations that may trigger anxiety, force you to lose your cool or make you retreat into your shell. By becoming aware of your breathing, you become more present – something which others will pick up on subconsciously.
If you perform some meditation before you go to sleep, you will sleep deeper and at a heightened quality than if you were to simply switch the light off and go to sleep the conventional way.
Clearing your head of negative thoughts will help you to achieve more REM sleep and lower cortisol even more. As we know, lowered cortisol is good for testosterone, as is getting great sleep – so you’re effectively killing two very large birds with one stone here.
how to build your confidence as a man - NOFAP
This is something I’ve been kind of reluctant to talk about on the blog because of the nature of the topic but it’s something that I believe is essential if you want to lead a fulfilling life.
This topic is NoFap - and is one of the best ways to master your strengths and weaknesses, build mental health and feel comfortable in relationships.
There are loads of gurus online who promote this in order to make a quick buck from worried guys on the internet – they’ll sell courses on it and special supplements to go along with it when in reality, all you have to do when practising NoFap is not fiddle with your sausage.
I won't go too far into the nitty-gritty of the whole topic but the general gist of it is that we’re a world that’s addicted to porn. This addiction has gotten to a point where guys (even young guys) are sitting at home in front of a screen and beating it for 2 hours a day.
It has started to rewire our brains – our very beliefs when it comes to respecting the opposite sex, our expectations of the real world and our actual ability to handle ourselves in social situations.
To sum it up, porn has created a generation of fellas who are so devoid of confidence, they’d rather date a robot than talk to real-life people.
A visual representation of my NoFap induced relaxation
Others (including myself) who have taken back their self-control have experienced confidence related benefits such as:
Increased energy
Deeper sleep
Reduced brain fog
A complete psychological ‘reset’
This is something I am quite passionate about but there are others who have an infinitely better grasp on the subject so if you’d like to read more, here’s a few resources:
There are also some sources which cite NoFaps benefit to increasing testosterone (good for body building) and can develop guys into more confident men.
COLD SHOWERS
These are my absolute favourite thing to do, especially if I’m feeling a bit unmotivated and introverted. Set your shower to a mild setting, get in and then slowly turn the dial down until it’s as cold as it’ll (or you can) go. This will build confidence like no other. Being able to face an ice cold shower every morning and night will help you to build balls of steel.
It’s these little victories that will help you to develop the sort of inner confidence that others can only dream of. All you have to do is face up to a little bit of adversity each and every day. Getting out of that comfort zone that so many of us are afraid to leave will be the best thing you’ll ever do.
The benefits to cold showers are varied and I have written about all of them in more depth here if you fancy having a little gander.
So, to recap and answer how to build your confidence as a man:
– Write down 3 things that went well that day each night.
– Meditate twice a day.
– Practice nofap and get a handle on your self-discipline.
– Take a cold shower every morning and night.
You now have your 4 pillars – your confidence foundations if you will.
Use this information as you please, but if you can implement at least one each week then you’ll be on your way to becoming that charming swine you were always destined to be. This isn't a quick fix or short confidence boost, it's a proven way for increasing your self confidence, to become a confident person and improve your body language.
Be sure to follow me on socials to keep up with the daily goings on of The Man Blueprint. You can also sign up for my inner circle using the newsletter form above. Just drop your email in there and it’s job done. Completely free and completely brilliant.
Whilst you’re here, have a little browse of some other article you might like below too. You won’t regret it.