Confidence: Build your foundation with these 4 pillars

We live in a society where anxiety and lack of confidence is rising and rising at an alarming rate. This can be attributed to so many different things such as social media, poor diet, sedentary lifestyles, lack of social interaction – the list goes on.

Some of these things can’t really be helped, most of us have to sit behind a desk for 8 hours a day, we only have access to ready meals and we don’t really get a chance to go out because of other comitments, etc.

With this in mind, I have developed what I believe to be the 4 pillars of building bulletproof confidence that will aid you in your quest to becoming the best man you  possibly can.

The reason I have picked these is that they are easy to implement for literally anyone. Each pillar will take up a tiny part of your day and will almost certainly add to your quality of life if you practice them consistently.

Abundance = Confidence

First off, what is abundance? In this instance, I’m talking about the abundance mindset.

In short, this way of thinking is aimed at completely reshaping the way you think about things. It will help you to frame situations in a positive manner and allow you to get out of the victim mentality that so many of us have fallen prey to in modern society.

man with confidence

Abundance will give you the confidence to climb a multitude of large cogs

The easiest way to practice abundance is to write down 3 things that you felt went well during your day before you go to sleep. This makes you focus on what is actually going well in your life and stops you from leaning your cognitive bias towards insignificant negatives of the day.

This is part of the reason I have stopped journaling. Writing down all your stresses is supposed to be a cleansing experience but in reality, it just made me focus on the negatives. Use this little trick to become a much more abundant and confident fella.


Meditation is one of the best stress relievers there is. Doing some meditation every day will bring your cortisol levels down massively. Decreased cortisol means increased testosterone – which means you’ll be biologically and psychologically more dominant. When you’re feeling so unstressed, it’s hard not to have superior confidence.

Meditation also teaches you to breathe deeply and from the stomach – not the chest, like most of us tend to do. This focus on breath will help you to stay calm in stressful situations that may trigger anxiety, force you to lose your cool or make you retreat into your shell. By becoming aware of your breathing, you become more present – something which others will pick up on subconsciously.

man doing meditation

If you perform some meditation before you go to sleep, you will sleep deeper and at a heightened quality than if you were to simply switch the light off and go to sleep the conventional way.

Clearing your head of negative thoughts will help you to achieve more REM sleep and lower cortisol even more. As we know, lowered cortisol is good for testosterone, as is getting great sleep – so you’re effectively killing two very large birds with one stone here.


This is something I’ve been kind of reluctant to talk about on the blog because of the nature of the topic but it’s something that I believe is essential if you want to lead a fulfilling life.

This topic is NoFap.

There are loads of gurus online who promote this in order to make a quick buck from worried guys on the internet – they’ll sell courses on it and special supplements to go along with it when in reality, all you have to do when practising NoFap is not fiddle with your sausage.

laptop in dark room

I wont go too far into the nitty gritty of the whole topic but the general gist of it is that we’re a world that’s addicted to porn. This addiction has gotten to a point where guys (even young guys) are sitting at home in front of a screen and beating it for 2 hours a day.

It has started to rewire our brains – our very beliefs when it comes to respecting the opposite sex, our expectations of the real world and our actual ability to handle ourselves in social situations.

To sum it up, porn has created a generation of fellas who are so devoid of confidence, they’d rather date a robot than talk to real life people.

man lying down

A visual representation of my NoFap induced relaxation

Others (including myself) who have taken back their self-control have experienced confidence related benefits such as:

  • Increased energy
  • Deeper sleep
  • Reduced brain fog
  • A complete psychological ‘reset’

This is something I am quite passionate about but there are others who have an infinitely better grasp on the subject so if you’d like to read more, here’s a few resources:




Cold Showers

These are my absolute favourite thing to do, especially if I’m feeling a bit unmotivated and introverted. Set your shower to a mild setting, get in and then slowly turn the dial down until it’s as cold as it’ll (or you can) go. This will build confidence like no other. Being able to face an ice cold shower every morning and night will help you to build balls of steel.

man under waterfall

It’s these little victories that will help you to develop the sort of inner confidence that others can only dream of. All you have to do is face up to a little bit of adversity each and every day. Getting out of that comfort zone that so many of us are afraid to leave will be the best thing you’ll ever do.

The benefits to cold showers are varied and I have written about all of them in more depth here if you fancy having a little gander.

So, to recap:

– Write down 3 things that went well that day each night.

– Meditate twice a day.

– Practice nofap and get a handle on your self-discipline.

– Take a cold shower every morning and night.

You now have your 4 pillars – your confidence foundations if you will.

Use this information as you please, but if you can implement at least one each week then you’ll be on your way to becoming that charming swine you were always destined to be.